3 Effective Strategies for Stopping Problem Behaviors in Children’s Mi

Today we will discuss practical strategies for stopping problem behaviors in children’s ministry while discovering effective solutions for improving classroom dynamics. Communication with parents, guardians, and other family members will be key to our success in managing behaviors.  

There are 3 effective strategies for stopping problem behaviors in children’s ministry. The first one is proactive positivity. This strategy focuses on being proactive to bring out the best in our students. The second strategy is to lead by example. Its effectiveness depends on our reactions to behaviors as the teacher/leader. Finally, the last strategy is correction and redirection which speaks truthfully about what is wrong and shows a better alternative. Each strategy can be used on its own, however, combining all three strategies gives the most effective results.

Strategy #1: Proactive Positivity

Being consistently positive sets a tone for the environment that children are entering. Saying statements like, “It’s great to have you here today," “We have a lot of fun stuff planned," and “I can’t wait to try this new game with you guys” will show our excitement to spend time with the kids. This positive attitude is very contagious. Simply making kids aware you are happy to spend time with them will help the mood. The confidence a teacher exudes in class significantly impacts students. And we can be confident a lot, like how Jesus loves us, we are created in His image, and God is with us. This confidence in Jesus can shine through us in the way that we show proactive positivity.  

The reason that this positivity is so helpful with behavioral management is that it often prevents problems from even happening. Children who walk through the doors and see how much we care about them and want to spend time with them are much more likely to behave than those who feel uncomfortable or unwelcome. 

Acceptance is a key element in children thriving in the classroom: 

• Are we proactively being positive around them? 
• Are we proactively making them feel welcome? 
• Did we spend time in God’s word before we came to teach today so that our hearts and minds are focused on worshiping God and sharing the love of Jesus with others? 

This positivity will have a significant impact on the children in our classroom and whether or not they want to participate. A proactive positivity strategy is all about preventing problems from arising. It’s not about controlling kids' behavior but instead setting a tone so that problem behaviors may be avoided.

Strategy #2: Lead by Example

There is only so much that a positive attitude can do. Our proactive positivity may be contagious for some kids, but others might be dealing with a struggle or a challenging event. A child may have a lot going on at home or school, causing them to be distracted by their thoughts. Our next strategy is to lead by example. There are several ways to implement this strategy depending on the situation you are dealing with.  

How children's ministry leaders react and respond to a student displaying problem behaviors is crucial to their future actions. It makes sense that we want to stop problem behaviors from happening, but if we aren’t careful, we will do more damage than good. This is where leading by example comes into play. Rather than jumping right into correcting a behavior or giving a consequence, we have the opportunity to show them a better way.

Here are some examples to help us with this:

1. When a kid starts scribbling on their paper to finish their project quickly, we can sit next to them, ask them to pass us the crayons, and show them how to color by doing our best. We can also engage in conversation with them and the kids around them enjoying one another’s company as we work side by side. Then we can suggest the child try another color, add more detail to their drawing, and compliment their work.
2. When we witness kids fighting over who is first in line or to do an activity we can turn to another leader and say, “After you. You can go first”. Then we can encourage kids by reassuring them they will all get a turn.  
3. When a kid is unkind to other children, we can say, “Hey everybody, do you know what makes me happy? Showing kindness to my friends because Jesus has shown love to me.” Then we can engage kids in a conversation and ask kids to come up with one way to show kindness to others today. Encourage the children to be kind by letting them know you notice and thanking them when they are good to one another.

Strategy #3: Correction and Redirection

After being proactively positive and leading by example, we may find that a kid continues to show problem behaviors. It’s important to use intervention to stop misbehavior from continuing. Children’s ministry discipline involves two components: correction and redirection. 

Correcting behavior lets the kids know that you mean business. While it’s nice to remain positive and lead by example, sometimes our students don’t get the hint. This is when it's important to be directly honest with children about their behavior and why it is not okay. Our intention should not be to guilt, control, or manipulate kids into behaving. Instead, we should clearly state why their behavior is wrong.  

Here are two examples:

1. Lauren calls her friend a “baby” for not joining the game. We can say, “Lauren, please don’t call her a name. You might hurt her feelings and it’s important to have respect for one another.”
2. Billy is dumping the toys to create a big mess. We can say, “Billy, please stop dumping the toys. It’s not kind to make a mess for other people to clean up. Let’s work together to clean this up together.”

It's also important to provide redirection after correcting a behavior. If kids don’t know how to change their behavior, they may continue displaying the problem behavior. Redirection shows kids how to replace a problem behavior with a more positive one. Here are examples of how to follow up with a redirection from the two examples above:

1. “Lauren, why don’t you invite her to join us instead? She may feel more comfortable if she has some encouragement from a friend!”
2. “Billy, after we finish cleaning this, we will move on to snack time! Let’s work together so we can have a snack. Great job!”

Even as we make corrections and redirections in children's ministry, it's important to maintain a positive attitude! In both of these examples, the children were encouraged with positive reinforcement. 

Sometimes it’s challenging to remain positive when dealing with a problem behavior. However, negativity is just as contagious as positivity. If we correct behaviors and redirect while remaining positive, kids will see that there is forgiveness, grace, and a chance to start again. If our tone becomes negative, this can create an atmosphere that feels unforgiving and children can get stuck in disappointment. A great way to avoid this is by quickly correcting the behavior, redirecting to a more positive choice, and moving forward without dwelling on the mistake. When kids see we have moved on, it’s much easier for them to let go and move on too! 

Remember, a child’s choice may not have been good, but they still have the potential to make good choices!

Follow up with Parents/Guardians

Communication with parents and guardians is crucial to the success of a student in children’s ministry. It’s helpful to share a brief description of the kid's day at pick-up time or write a small note on a take-home slip so parents know how their child is doing in class. For kids who are doing well and aren’t displaying any problem behaviors, we can use this time to encourage parents. For children who have misbehaved in class, we can discuss their challenges and their progress or lack thereof. Sharing this information with the family serves as a good natural consequence. 

It's valuable to openly communicate with parents about any behavioral issues their children may be experiencing. By doing so, we can detect problems early and address any underlying issues. Our honesty encourages parents to be open with us, enabling us to collaborate in addressing behavioral challenges or referring them to helpful resources.

Utilize these three effective behavior management techniques -- proactive positivity, leading by example, and correction and redirection -- to help with our classroom management. Whatever strategy or combination of strategies we decide to use, it is important to remain consistent. Over time, kids will know what to expect in our classrooms and feel more comfortable and confident. These strategies will lead to a more positive dynamic in our children’s ministry if we patiently take the time to implement them well!